Statler and Waldorf, exit stage left

I’m a moderate Muppet fan. Nothing like my little brother, who lists “Muppet Treasure Island” as his most-quoted movie, second only to “Clue,” but I’m right up there. I grew up watching the TV show, with its guests being shepherded around backstage by Scooter, and frequent appearances by John Denver. This is probably as good a time as any to commend the classic John Denver and the Muppets: Christmas Together to your holiday listening playlist if it isn’t already there.

Best in vinyl, so as to skip while you dance feverishly to the “Run, Run Reindeer” as performed by Doc Teeth and the Electric Mayhem Band

The reason I bring up the Muppets (although, does one ever really need a reason?), is to explain my blogging absence. In addition to discovering that I really, really like being forced to stay at home an inordinate amount of time, I’ve spent the past 8+ months slowly slipping into an observer / heckler existence, akin to the classic Muppet characters, Statler and Waldorf. These two watch the entire show from their box seats, flinging witty insults at the performers below, but not really offering much of substance themselves.

As the world outside grew more hostile in so many ways, I sort of shriveled up, took to my box seat, and judged it from afar. Box seats are nice. They offer a good view, and the seats are quite comfy. You can force your words to be heard or not heard, depending on how much you want to applaud or insult the actors. Indeed, you can even gather up a little audience of your own, playing to the camera like Statler and Waldorf.

While I’m sure that my immediate circle is thrilled beyond measure to be the recipients of my ongoing, increasingly caustic and embittered observations, it’s gotta stop. I fear that I will come out of this quarantine a shriveled up Statler or Waldorf: safe, sarcastic, embittered, and unproductive. It’s time to turn a page on that mindset. Maybe you felt the same way, and maybe there’s good reasons. Fair enough. I’m looking forward to resuming some active participation in my own life again. For now, it won’t involve actually leaving the theater, but maybe I’ll climb down among the crowd and rejoin polite in a more virtual manner. Or maybe-gasp-I’ll venture onto the stage and create some content. That’s what this post is–dipping a toe back into the world of blog offerings instead of just nonstop criticism written, thought, or muttered under my breath.

There will be more to come. Bald, waistcoated, and felted is not a good look for me.

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